Other People's Kids? Booooo!

Pat I’m guessing you like yours, right? I like mine too. And I would go so far as to say that most people probably like their kids. But what about other people’s kids? Those I’m not sure about.

My little angels of sunshine hardly ever do anything wrong or bad. And if they do I assume it’s because they learned it from some other hellion kid that is not one of my kids. My kids are good learners by the way*.

So Pat, how do you feel about other people’s kids?

Pat:  Funny thing...when you said “...you like yours, right?” I wasn’t exactly thinking about kids right off the bat. I was thinking about...something else. (and, YES, I do like mine!)

Sorry.

Umm...is this a trick? ‘Cause, technically, your kids are “other people’s kids”, so I kinda’ feel like I’m being set up here. Clarification, please.

Christian: No no. My kid’s are my kids. Not other people’s kids. God, that would be horrible if my kids were like other people’s kids. No, no, definitely not other people’s kids.

Other people’s kids.

(source)

Clear now?

Pat:  Nope. Still not falling for it. Please clarify: if I refer to other peoples’ kids--say I claim to hate and absolutely despise them--do your kids fall into that group? Because from my vantage point, even though I know and, I guess, LIKE you...will it be construed that your kids drive me nuts? Hypothetically, that is. If so...then I refuse to answer. If not, then yes.

Christian: I can’t believe that you are even suggesting that my kids might be like other people’s kids. Have you ever spent any time with other people’s kids? They are a mess. My kids are like well domesticated politeness-ponies and if they ever misbehave it’s because some bad seeds got into the stable and corrupted them... So no, my kids are not included amongst other people’s kids.

Now please proceed with your answer.

Pat:  Sorry. I still feel like this is a set-up. Trying to trust my gut better these days. And right now my gut says, “Don’t answer!”. It’s also saying “Chile relleno burrito!” but that’s the part of my gut I’m still trying to resist.

I love other people’s kids. Actually, I love all kids. Even the ones who never stop smelling bad. Especially those ones.

And the ones who mess up my house when their parents stop by for a quick 5 minute surprise visit. Those ones are so darn cute! Case closed?

Christian: But how do you feel about other people’s kids’ influence on your kids? It seems like other people’s kids are everywhere nowadays so inevitably my kids are at risk of being influenced by them. Since your kids are older than mine have they been influenced? Are they complete disasters now?

Pat: Oh, that’s easy. I didn’t know that’s what you were getting at.

I don’t let other kids anywhere near my kids. Not even in the same room, for fear of contamination. My kids have heard of other children, but only as characters in fictional stories. Not like they really exist. TV has been WONDERFUL for that. We just tell them that those “other kids” are like the ones on TV, and not real.

Christian: What about the cast of The Real World? Do your kids think they are real or not real? Either way I wouldn’t want those dipshits anywhere near my kids. I guarantee you all of them were other people’s kids at some point.

Pat:  Is that show still on? Has Puck lightened up at all? He was a dick. I don’t let my kids watch TV shows with dicks in them. (<-- just realized that sentence can be read two ways, and I want to assure our readers that it is true in both readings)

Christian: Oh, I’m sure Puck is still on it. He was the only thing that made it interesting. And if MTV is about anything, it’s about keeping to its roots and not changing.

But you are right about him being a dick (and keeping your children away from dicks). I bet you anything he’s someone else’s kid, which totally proves my point. Who want’s their kids hanging out and playing with dicks? Not me.

Other people’s kids are no good. I’m going to follow your lead Pat and from now on I’m just going to tell my kids that other people’s kids are just characters on TV like the Skipper and Gilligan. They don’t really exist and should be feared.

We’re really kicking the ass out of this parenting thing.

* This paragraph was taken from a comment I left over at MOV’s blog mothersofbrothersblog and she suggested we turn it into a post. So you have her to thank or blame depending on your opinion of this post.