By using a calculator, a half a dozen pencils or so, and a computer that I later found out was just an unplugged microwave, I’ve figured out that this is our 100th post! I know in a lot of blogging circles 100 isn’t a lot. Or actually very few. But considering we can’t even keep up with our blazing pace of one post a week sometimes, a 100 is a fucking lot of posts in our book.
So the obvious next question was what should we do for this landmark post in PCPPP lore? How do we honor and commemorate this historic event? What do we say or write about to give this post the specialness it deserves?
I had no idea so I decided to take a nap to let my brain gears cool down from all this thinking stuff. Pat you have any ideas?
Pat: Really? One Hundred? Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever done a hundred anything. That’s cool! Guess my old man was wrong about my inability to persevere, yeah?
Umm...I don’t know. Wasn’t there a game we played in college called “Century Club”. That has a hundred in it. Should we play that to celebrate?
Christian: I’m not a hundred percent sure what “Century Club” is but there’s no way I’m having sex with you on an airplane. To be honest I was thinking of something a little more low key than sex. Like splitting a Fresca or something.
Pat: Hey, if we’re talking Fresca, then I want a whole one! That stuff is refreshing!
No...I think the Century Club has to do with shots and...time. Like, you have to drink a hundred of something (ounces? sips? bottles?) in a limited time.
I don’t think it matters if it’s on a plane or on the ground, but I’m with you. All due respect, but I’ve never really thought of you as a sexual partner. Just the blog. That’s enough for me.
Christian: Agreed and agreed. Just the blog.
But to be honest, drinking a 100 of something, especially alcohol, in a certain amount of time doesn’t really sound that celebratory. It seems more like a normal day-to-day activity.
How about instead we say 100 things that no one knows about us. That seems to be the bloggy thing to do. Actually I don’t want to hear 100 of yours. How about 3?
Pat: OK. Here goes:
1. I showered with the Portland Trailblazers. Yep. Doesn’t everybody?
2. I flew to Japan with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Security unit, you know.
3. I hung out one night at a gay disco with the First Son of Romania. And, no, he didn’t try to kiss me. He was very respectful of my limits.
Christian: What the hell? I was going to say something like I don’t like butter on my pancakes or that I have two favorite colors but you’ve showered with a professional sports team? Flown internationally with professional cheerleaders? Hung out with Romanian royalty? Explain yours please.
Pat: No. It takes too long. And it reveals more of the mystery of my persona than I am comfortable with. Sorry. Not even my wife knows the details of these stories. She only knows they happened, and is content to leave it at that.
Remember, buddy...sometimes a little knowledge can be dangerous.
What are your three secrets?
Christian: Well I already told you. I don’t put butter on my pancakes, just maple syrup, and I have two favorite colors, which I too will not name in attempt to remain more mysterious. Two can play that game, Pat! My third one was going to be that one of my favorite words is “escalated”. As in “the situation quickly escalated”.
This telling three secrets thing was a disaster. Who even came up with this idea?
OK, here’s another idea. And I think this is the one. How about we give something away to our dearest cherished readers to say thank you for all their support?
I know what you’re thinking Pat: But Christian, despite coming up with yet another awesome and fantastic idea seemingly effortlessly, while always maintaining an impressive fashion sense with your own personal style, what could we possibly give away that would be worthy of the thanks our dearest cherished readers deserve?
First off, thank you, and second off, don’t worry I’ve figured that out too. Our dearest cherished readers deserve something that symbolizes beauty and grace, something that will be admired for generations to come. Of course I’m talking about the personally hand-crafted pencil drawing I did of a Quadracorn for our post Pegacorn vs. Pegicorn.
Breathtaking.
I’m getting a little teary eyed just looking at the majestic beauty of it.
So what do you say Pat? Should we give away the original to one lucky reader to celebrate 100 years posts of PCPPP?
Pat: Oh. You really DID draw that? I thought it was done by one of your kids...the younger one, actually. I mean, it’s good. You did a good job with the four horns. And the mullet. The teeth are a little unnerving, as they’re very...human.
Umm...yeah. Let’s do it! Especially because if we don’t, then we might have to consider opening up some sort of PC-PPP museum or archive where people could see it, and that would be embarrassing a lot of work.
Christian: Yes a lot of work indeed. Then it is settled. In celebration for our 100th post we will give away the coveted Portrait of Quadracorn, pencil on notepad paper.
If you are interested in receiving this spectacular specimen of what the humankind imagination can create just leave a comment. If you would prefer not to win it or feel indifferent about it, also leave a comment, and then do some serious soul searching. If you don’t understand what’s going on or stumbled upon this post by mistake you should also leave a comment.
We’ll select one person at random and dub them thy winner of thy art.
The winner will be announced in the next week or so or whenever we get around to it. Because you guys, our dearest cherished readers, deserve it.
