Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Gleek: Unnecessary Monkey?

(Note: It was brought to our attention by one of our wiveseditors that the term Gleek is used to describe fans of that TV show Glee. It should be clear that this post has nothing to do with that show and rest assured we aren’t just mentioning this so that our post will hopefully show up higher in google key word searches due to the popularity of the hit FOX TV Show Glee starring Mathew Morrison, Lea Michelle, Jane Lynch, Harry Potter, Justin Bieber, iphone, celebrity sex tape, free porn).

The following discussion started after Pat noticed that my user name for google docs was Wondertwinpowers. For those who don’t know, Gleek was the monkey that accompanied the Wonder Twins. If you don’t know who the Wonder Twins are you need to read this post, post haste - which I guess you are already doing, so... Good job!

Pat: Can I be Jana? Or Gleek, the unnecessary monkey?

Christian: Unnecessary? He’s the Ringo Starr of the Wonder Twins. Cute, charming, and has a constant look of not knowing what’s going on. Without him, the Wonder Twins would just be another pair of fraternal twins with inconvenient and oddly random super powers. He’s the glue holding this horse together. By the way it’s spelled Jayna (how embarrassing).

Pat: Really? Do I want to know how you knew the correct spelling of the sister of the duo? Were you born on Exxor or something?! (<---Ooooh!  Beat that one, comic geek!)

Rather than argue his status, I will ask you simply to point out any redeeming actions Gleek offered. My recollection was simply that he got in the way and occasionally did something-- likely by accident-- with his tail to foil the foe.

Christian:  First off, I totally did not have to Google™ Exxor to know it’s the planet the wonder twins are from. Duh. I also didn’t need to read Wikipedia™ to remember that Gleek’s other redeeming action was to assist the twins in their traveling arrangements. When it was time to go on the move, Jayna would transform into a large bird of some sorts while Zan (the brother twin. Did you know that hot shot?) would take the form of crime fighting tap water while jumping into a bucket. Gleek would then carry this bucket of Zan while riding Jayna. So basically Gleek was their designated bucket carrier. Kind of like a bell hop.

In your face!

Pat: Imagine if Batman had a small furry rodent whose sole purpose was to carry around his toolbelt or hold open the door of his Batmobile (come to think of it, that sounds awfully close to Alfred...oh well). Would that warrant the naming and inclusion of an entirely new superhero, complete with it’s own uniform? I think not. Thus, I contend that Gleek be relegated to the status of C-level sidekick at best.

Did I know the name of the brother twin? Do I have to go into detail about how conflicted I was in high school when dating someone of the same name but of a different gender? I wondered if it meant I had latent homoaliensexual Exxorian tendencies. Finally got over it, after many years of reflection and therapy. Thanks for digging up those ghosts for me.

Christian: Why doesn’t Zan just take the form of a bucket made of ice since he can turn into anything made of ice, including combustible engines? Why doesn’t he just turn into a hurricane and fly along side Jayna? How the hell can a combustible engine made of ice even work? These are all valid questions. But so is why has firework technology barely advanced over the past thirty years, but we’ll probably never know the answer to that either. What I’m getting at is that just because we don’t fully understand Gleek doesn’t mean he should be cast off as a C-level super friend. He’s not Aquaman.    

By the way that makes sense about you in high school. It explains why you incessantly talked about wanting to visit Exxor when you were older. At the time, I just assumed Exxor was some Eastern European country.

Pat: Agreed, Zan’s morphing tendencies were a bit baffling, and you nailed the one that always confused me-- the ice jet. Seems like three seconds after take-off it should have melted itself. But Jayna wasn’t off the hook...she tended to turn into a large ape to ride in the jet. You’d think they would consider weight and aerodynamicism, and if they were in a true hurry to help fight evil, she might have turned into a feather-weight marmoset or something. Hmm...

Sounds like we may not be in disagreement here. Sounds also like, in trying to one up each other with our long-standing (or recently Googled™) history of childhood “heroes”, we may have inched dangerously close to ├╝bergeek status.

Fireworks, huh? I haven’t really thought much about them, truth be told, except for the lingering question I have felt every Fourth of July since the kids were of match-striking or punk-wielding age:  In what way(s) is blowing shit up around young kids, and encouraging them to enjoy it and do the same, a good idea?

And what’s up with Aquaman? You’re not going to start dissing him now, are you? Dude communed with animals...that’s badass AND Buddhistly cool. Don’t fuck with Aquaman, man!

Christian: Ok, I agree. We should probably simmer down before reaching ubergeekness. But if you think Aquaman is a badass then your head is a few super friends shy of a Justice League.

Pat:  Oh, nice try tricking me into giving you the last word on Aquaman, poncho! Do you know of many other kings who give up their kingdoms to fight global injustice? Alright, technically Atlantis collapsed so he really had nothing else to do, but still, he could have put it above him. Also, given our current salmon crisis, don’t you think it might be nice if someone like Aquaman talked the fish into repopulating our watershed? Hmm?


  1. I was hoping that this was about spitting. I am super disappointed.

  2. Megiweg - It is about spitting, if you read in between the lines.

    Everyone else - no it's not.

  3. Ok, I was worried when I first read your blog because I was pretty sure I was being followed by a sufferer of DID or possibly? CONJOINED TWINS! Now that I read your history i know that you neither have A. multiple personality disorder OR, B. two heads attached to one body, I'm a little bummed. But still, thanks for the follow and comment!

  4. Nor. I should have said Nor, not or. Just clarifying.

  5. yvonne - You forgot C. All of the above. Just think, with each head having multiple personalities, you are getting at least 4 personalities per one body. Talk about bang for your buck!

  6. I thought Gleeks were also Glee fans, I was just too lazy to look it up. They're named after a monkey that carries a bucket of water. That makes me happy.