Thursday, September 26, 2013

Best Most Embarrassing Concert

A little bit ago the Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms asked on their facebook page what was the most embarrassing concert you have ever attended. I gave my response and after looking at all the other responses I quickly, and silently, anointed myself the king of the most embarrassing concert attended.  

Both Pat and I are huge music fans and have been to many concerts/shows in our lifetimes therefore I thought we would see who wins at having attended the most embarrassing concert.   

You’re probably asking yourself why does it matter who wins since the winner isn’t really winning anything? WRONG! The winner will win victory. Victory is good.

So Pat, would you like to go first and then hear mine or should I say mine first? Either way I will win victory.

Pat:  Wait. Embarrassing for ME or embarassing for THEM, the artist/musician? In either case, I think it might involve Fishbone, but I want clarification.


Christian: Embarrassing for you. Also, keep in mind you aren’t going to win victory with Fishbone.

Pat:  Oh. Really? Well, define the terms of the contest then. What sort of embarrassing are we aiming for? Like, embarrassing that I paid money to see someone ridiculous, or embarrassing that I behaved a certain way at the show?

In either case, I think it might involve Fishbone.

Christian: Embarrassing that you paid money to see someone so ridiculous. I’m going to go ahead and assume you are going to go with Fishbone.

HAH! Fishbone, nice try. No, I’m pretty sure I’ve got you beat. I once went and saw a little old band that sang and danced around like dandelions in a summer’s breeze. Perhaps you know them. They were(are?) called MENUDO!

I did a image search for Menudo and every pic seemed to be of a different group of kids.
I think Menudo was one of those bands that would kill off their members when they got too old.

That’s right. I saw Menudo. In concert. On purpose.

I WIN VICTORY!

Pat: Hold on.

One, I don’t believe you. You may THINK you saw Menudo, but I don’t think it was Menudo. Couldn’t be. Because, whether you saw them when, like them, you were under 16 or more recently as an adult, the ramifications of you seeing Menudo BY CHOICE are enough to potentially bring an end to this blog partnership. Are you sure you weren’t just eating at a Mexican (sorry...Puerto Rican) restaurant with some bandera music playing in the background?

Two, while I have paid good money to see Fishbone during a couple of their questionable phases, I will stand by my sanity and declare those good decisions. When they’re on, they are REALLY on, and it makes the bad shows easier to swallow.

No...my most embarrassing would have to be last summer when, at my daughter’s request, I took she and her cousin to a Miranda Cosgrove concert at a local county fair. And it wasn’t cheap! You might know her better as iCarly (I sure didn’t!). And the worst part? Amid all of those pre-teeners and questionable adult county fair-goers...I kinda’ liked it. It was like aural bubble gum that you could dance to. And, man, did I dance. Not sure my daughter or niece will go to another concert with me.

Oh...and I’ve also seen Paul Williams and Sheena Easton. They’re pretty good contenders, yeah? ‘Course, I was young and I think my parents paid for those shows. Does that count?

Christian: Of course it counts. Although Paul Williams and Sheena Easton still don’t compare to Menudo. Come on we’re talking Menudo!

And yes I did see them. I believe it was during my middle school years or maybe late grade school, I don’t recall. It was at the Lane County Fair but I will admit that I’m pretty sure I only went because my friend wanted to go, but needless to say I did see them. Alive!  

As a side note I also saw Kenny Loggins during his Danger Zone tour at the Lane County Fair. That guy should have been the fifth Beatle!

As for your iCosgrove concert thing you went to; I’m not familiar with who or what that is but taking your daughter to it kind of alleviates the embarrassing part of it since you were going because of your daughter. You can’t be embarrassed for doing something for your daughter.

I WIN VICTORY!

Pat:  Man, you really want this one, don’t you? I’m tempted to concede and give it to you, simply to avoid a tantrum...but I can’t!

C’MON! Was Menudo ever in a Neutrogena™ commercial targeting young, zit-tastic pre-teen girls?

  

Alright...in a last ditch effort, I’ll just throw out some concerts I vaguely (or vividly) remember attending and let YOU decide if they come close to the shame you feel for attending the Menudo show:

-Howard Jones (by the way...I did my best to dress up like Howard Jones for that show)
-Simply Red
-Club Nouveaux (I could not tell you who or what they were, but their name stays with me)
-U2
-PIL (not normally shameful, but Johnny Rotten--a bit heavy at the time--wiped his ass with a dollar bill and then flung it at the audience...who all quickly ran away from it)
-Stovokor (not sure if you know them, but this is Portland’s all-Klingon metal band)


That’s about all I’ve got. Take your best shot!

Christian: Not even close.

I have also seen U2 and Stovokor (not at the same time. plus I know a couple of the Stovokor guys) and none of the others come even close to touching Menudo. They wish they could touch Menudo in their dreams! That didn’t come out right.

I WIN VICTORY!!!!

33 comments:

  1. Maybe I'm blissfully unaware of how lame I am, but why is Fishbone embarrassing? Menudo wins. That's unbeatable. I saw Aerosmith during their "Don't Want to Miss a Thang" phase and left before they got to the good songs, I've seen Offspring, I've seen Alien Ant Farm (in my defense it was at a festival), but nothing comes close to seeing Menudo on purpose.

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    1. Yeah I'm not very familiar with Fishbone so I have no idea if they are embarrassing or not. Although I do know without a doubt they are not as embarrassing as Menudo.

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    2. Good point, Pickleope, so let me clarify. You are not lame. Far from it (assuming I inferred correctly that you like the 'Bone). But...having seen them live like 94 times, I have to admit that some of their shows are cringe inducing. Like...Angelo spending three hours tripping on his theramin while Dirty Walt talks about being old and wanting to go home and go to bed. Others are goddamned visionary, capable of bringing god to earth again.

      So, you know...it's a mixed bag.

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  2. Menudo takes the cake, in my opinion.

    But, I've been to an embarrassing concert put on by my university. One of my friends organized the concert, and begged me to go because the school wasn't selling any tickets. So, me and a few friends go to see Iration (Actually the best part of the show. Kind of had a Sublime-esque vibe), White Pandas (Two dudes wearing knitted panda masks while playing music on their laptops), and Wale (a terrible rapper). Wale was 45 minutes late getting on stage (because this promiscuous girl we knew entered his room before the show. Bow chicka wow wow). So, Wale sent one of his posse to entertain us, and his name was... Black Kobain. Finally, after about an hour and a half, Wale comes out, performs 2 songs, and leaves halfway through the 3rd. It was fantastic. Oh, and I forgot to mention that there was only about 60 people there in this giant venue.

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    1. Dammit! Pat and I were about to have our first show as the White Koalas where we wear koala masks and play music on our laptops. Back to the drawing board.

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    2. No...Christian, we talked about this. We were going to form a band called "Whale", and we were going to rap in high pitched squeals that could be distributed for free in National Geographic magazines.

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  3. Yeah, Menudo definitely wins, Probably the most embarrassing concert I went to was about 6 months ago when the wife and I walked inside and were literally the only people old enough to drink. We hung out at the bar with the bartender and sipped beers while all of the 18 year olds flooded the stage for the opening act... a white rapper. A very, very white rapper.

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    1. Hey! I think she might be remotely Latino. Or at least Latinoesque.

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  4. Replies
    1. GWAR is a good choice too... hey wait a second. Isn't it weird that no one has ever seen GWAR and Menudo in the same room at the same time?

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    2. Funny...not familiar with that band, but that's almost exactly the sound I make when I have terrible gas.

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  5. I once threw someone else's panties on stage at a Moon Patrol concert. They hit the rhythm guitar player right in the mouth! It was awesome, he fell down.

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    1. Your girlfriend standing next to you at the show told me the same thing.

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  6. I once saw The Feeling and they were supported by Scouting For Girls and Turin Brakes. It was like a holy trinity of shit.

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  7. I have never ever heard of Menudo, I assume this was not exported to Europe?

    Wow, they are quiet catchy and those body suits are amazingly colourful...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDnL8IQYI0o

    I declare that Chrisstian wins.

    "Danca canta"

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    1. Wow that video is a whole of craziness. About half way through it looks like the crowd starts throwing marshmallows at them.

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  8. I usually win this game with New Kids On the Block, but NKOTB can't hold a flickering Zippo to Menudo.

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    1. I don't know, NKOTB may give Menudo a run for their money in the embarrassing category. But yeah I still think I win with Menudo. NKOTB is a great entry though.

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  9. Just think, in a few years the teenagers of today will be wincing at the memory of that Bieber concert they lined up for 12 hours to get into.

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  10. My first three concerts: Sean Cassidy, Yo Yo Ma, and the Clash. I'm embarrassed by none of this. I am sad I missed G.G. Allin at a live show before he died (and does only dead shows.) I guess this means I would not have run away from the poop dollar bill.

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    1. So Yo Yo Ma didn't do any self-mutilation or feces throwing during his show?

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  11. There's nothing shameful about seeing Stovokor, but Menudo ...

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  12. Well first of all, congrats on the nice new comment box. I'm really happy about the change! Secondly, I'm too young to know who the hell you are talking about? Menundo? It sounds like a very scary brain disease. Either way, you both win in my book. But that's because I'm obsessed with you. :)

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    1. Don't know Menudo? They're one of the all time great musical heavy hitters:

      1 - The Beatles
      2 - The Rolling Stones
      3 - Menudo
      4 - Led Zeppelin

      Perhaps you know them better as Ricky Martin's former group? You aren't too young to know Ricky Martin are you? La Vida Loca Ricky Martin. That's him second from the left in that pic up there.

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  13. I!! Win victory!!!
    I saw Milli Vanilli

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    1. Wow. Yes indeed, I might have to concede my victory to you. Milli Vanilli. Very impressive. In an embarrassing way.

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  14. So Funny! Mine was New Kids on the Block, but because now I actually work in the music industry you are like the first person I have told that to in 20 years! Stopping by from Finding the Funny. Hope you can visit sometime.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, NKOTB is a good one but I still think Menudo kicks their embarrassing ass.

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  15. "I saw Menudo. In concert. On purpose.

    I WIN VICTORY!" I question if this is really a "victory"? But I love you guys, so if you say so...maybe?? Keep bringing the awesome.

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