About Us (Christian’s Version):
We are two old high school friends who discovered a common desire to do some writing but were too lazy to do anything about it on our own. Therefore, in hopes of only having to do half the amount of work, we decided to do a joint blog. Our blog will be an open forum of discussion and exchange of ideas with no real focus, both topically and mentally. But to be honest, we are probably mostly doing this just to entertain ourselves (we’re easily entertained).
About Us (Pat’s Version):
Yeah, pretty much what Christian says. More specifically, however, we’ve been friends since sophomore year in high school, when we were in a health class together. I remember learning about epilepsy. But Christian probably only remembers us being friends since a senior year party (well, three guys at his house) where he tried to convince me I was getting drunk by plying me with a steady supply of beer (he was feeding me non-alcoholic beer). Christian drank a lot in high school, so he doesn’t remember things well. He may not remember reading this entry if he is still drinking as much now as he did then. By the way, that party was when my addiction to O’Douls™ began, a habit I’m still struggling to kick. Thanks, buddy!
I’m the father of two children (humans) and the husband of my wife (human). I have a 2 year old son and a 6 month old daughter. (Although if you are reading this in the future, odds are they will be older by then. For reference the current year for me is 2010.) I assume most people automatically assume that I served as a Navy Seal. This is not true. I also have two cats but I really don’t want to get into that.
For me it’s now 2011, and my children are now older than Christian’s. They were older than his when he wrote his part, too, but we get really competitive about whose kids are ahead of the other. Mine are now 8 and 6, and, well, they were then, too, but more months and days have been added to their lives. Christian might win when, if all goes as planned according to average lifespans, his kids are the last ones alive. I do not release the names or genders of my children for fear that some future post on our blog might invoke the ire of an unstable “fan” who will use my kids as leverage to get me to delete or retract my statements. Please know, reader, that I stand by my Constitutionally given right to speak truth to power (see...that’s Maya Angelou sitting next to me on our blog image!), and I will not compromise my moral fortitude to accommodate your interests. I also mostly stand by my children.
I also have two cats (weird coincidence, huh!). One is very fat, nearly the size of an oppossum or raccoon, and the other is getting old and thus is smaller. He was a gift from a common friend of mine and Christian’s. I also do not release the names or genders of my cats. Mostly because I’m not sure of them.
Writing Background (Christian):
I enjoy writing and have great respect for literary giants such as Leo Tolstoy, Ernest Hemingway, and Jim Davis. I don’t have any professional experience nor any formal training in the literary arts. I basically learned how to write on the streets. As a youth I got heavily involved in writing gangs and was a member of the Satan’s Scribes. I spent night after night involved in write fights and drive by compositions, but eventually got out of the writing gang scene after watching too many friends die. As for my writing style; I won’t hesitate to use outside the box verb conjugation or make up new words like greatitude or unicorny when needed. I also lie a lot.
Writing Background (Pat):
I am a learned (pronounced: learn-ed) writer and grammaticalatrician, enough to know that in the paragraph above Christian inappropriately used a semi-colon where he should have just used a colon. It is a common, but nonetheless highly aggravating, mistake, and one that will undoubtedly prompt a future blog entry, as I find that the semi-colon becomes less and less useful in my older age. I think the semi-colon was much more helpful in the early 1900s when people had a more difficult time bringing full and final closure to their ideas.
As for credentials, I have been writing complete sentences since the first grade, during which year I first encountered D’Nealian handwriting. Since then I have been maintaining lower case letters of roughly half the size of upper case letters. I do that while typing as well.
I also have a lot of returned love letters, full of emotive prose and poetry, from throughout my life (ages 5-32) available for perusal for any blog viewers who would like a closer look at my voice in writing.
Goals for Blog (Christian):
I have two main goals for this blog. The first is to share with others my life experiences and knowledge including the joy and wonder of raising children and watching them learn and grow. The second is to be doing anything that gets me away from them. If I have to read that frickin' Goldbug book one more time I’m going to start vomiting Lowlyworms!
Goals for Blog (Pat):
I know it is not considered “cool” or “kosher” or “hip” or “righteous” or “moral” or “right”, but I simply want fame. And not “indie-fame” that ends in some kind of small-press “zine” or a blogsigning at independent blogstores. I would like our writing and our blog to land us a movie deal starring none other than Dirk Benedict and Maya Angelou, among a cast of other well known celebrities, award winners, and laureates. Fortune would soon follow and that would be fine.
I also need an outlet for the new “radical honesty” method of communication I have been practicing. It has provided me great solace, but my family and friends will not talk to me anymore.
There is some more info about the origins of this blog in our first post entitled Origins Of This Blog