Thursday, July 3, 2014

We're Not Dead

Hello everyone. We’re not dead. But I’m sure you and the majority of the Earth population have noticed that we haven’t posted anything in quite some time. This is true. There are a couple of reason for our internet absence and fortunately neither are because we are dead.  

The first is that I have recently been promoted at work. This a good thing. But due to the timing of it and unforeseen and untimely personnel changes I have to continue doing my old job in addition to the new one. This is not a good thing. It has meant long hours and little to no free time for yours truly. The good news though is that it’s only temporary. Once the project I’m working on for my old job is done, I should have my life back. Should be sometime around the end of the summer. Just in time to enjoy crummy weather.

The second and much greater reason why we have been so absent is that we are currently remodeling the entire PCPPP campus and we have been spending the majority of our time arguing over carpet samples. It’s been exhausting. I’m convinced that Misty Hemlock is the right color to go with but Pat insists on Sierra Flame.

Pat:  It sounds manly AND comforting, no?

Christian: Actually no. In my opinion it’s a rather aggressive color. Too aggressive. Makes me want to throw tennis balls at people. Misty Hemlock is soothing and inspires creativity. At least according to my carpet sherpa.

Pat:  Exactly! Aggressive. Isn’t that what we want? We are creating a locus of genius thought and comedy. Misty Hemlock makes me want to lay down and take a nap, or get a massage. Sierra Flame makes me want to kick a forest fire’s ass with a barrage of wit and sarcasm. “Fuck you”, forest fire! “Fuck you with my wit!”  

That’s what Sierra Flame says to me. And I want to roll around in it in the middle of our office. Maybe without clothes. That sound okay?

Christian: No. To me that would be the number one reason to go with Misty Hemlock over Sierra Flame.

So as you can see folks, this debate has taken up a lot of our time. All of it in fact. And it has been expensive having to pay my carpet sherpa all this overtime. So once I no longer am having to work two jobs and more importantly we resolve this carpet issue we may not be posting much. And not much may very well mean not at all. We’re thinking late August. When the moon crosses over into the seventh jaguar.     

Pat:  Hey Christian, this is that time of year when I don’t have to work, so just holler if you need some help. Oh, wait...is that like what they call salt in the wounds? Sorry.

Christian: You bastard. You Sierra Flamed bastard!

20 comments:

  1. Congratulations on the promotion to overlord (I assume that is the title). Thanks for the Misty Flamed laughs and cautionary tale as to why I should not try to replace our family room carpet!

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  2. You have a carpet sherpa!?! I've always wanted a carpet sherpa! I'm so jealous. This is like when the kid down the street got all of the Voltron figures at one time and could assemble them all to the big Voltron while I only had like two of them so it was like Voltron just got back from Afghanistan (too soon? Should I have gone with Vietnam?).
    When people stop blogging, they're dead to me. So this would make this post like a zombie blog post.

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  3. Congrats on the promotion & I'm glad you two aren't dead. But now that you brought it up, I imagine any scenario that involves the both of you dying at the same time as being the result of an ill-fated road trip involving a crazed hitchhiker or an argument (possibly over something like new carpet colors) gone horribly awry.

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  4. Do the drapes match the sierra flame carpet?

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  5. I'm glad to hear that Christian didn't kill Pat. I was seriously about to call the cops. Christian has been a bit on edge lately with the new job and since we hadn't heard from Pat...

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  6. No wonder you guys are fighting. I blame the carpet sample names. I bet neither of you would be this aggressive if it was between Delightful Summer Meadow Rain and French Buttercup Spritz.

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  7. I can't believe you aren't even CONSIDERING the Dusty Moon Melon collection. Cantalope Constellation is particularly nice.

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  8. Since Pat is a communist, why can't he do the blog??

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  9. i think misty hemlock would be nice....it sounds relaxing and i aced my colour theory module. So I am an expert! Congrats on the promotion and hopefully you guys are done refurbishing soon.

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  10. Two jobs? How rude! But a promotion is better than a demotion (or so I heard....ahem...)

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    1. Um.... just checking if you two fellas are still alive. Hello? Houston, we have another problem...

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    2. Still not dead. Still haven't decided on carpet color.

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    3. So I wasn't talking to a ghost, right?

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    4. You're making me feel like a stalker.

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  11. Yay promotion! Boo for overtime! I hope you can finish things up soon so you can be free to entertain us all with your continued carpet arguments. Oh, and just so you know, I think you're both wrong. Rubbed Sage is a far better option here.

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  12. Congrats on the promo, Godspeed with the carpet, and know that you are missed--but your following is so dedicated, we'll be right here when you get back.

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  13. These sound a little bit like old school Yankee Candle colors, before everything was bacon-flavored. Congrats on the promotion, hope you only have to do ONE of those jobs soon.

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  14. Hey! What is going on here??? You still haven't posted! Okay, I realize I have no right to my righteous indignation, but just because I've been gone myself, doesn't mean I don't expect everyone to be exactly where I left them when I come back!

    But seriously, congratulations on the new job :) Hopefully you are down to just one set of job duties now!

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    Replies
    1. Don't worry... They're not dead, so that's a good thing.

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