Thursday, April 26, 2012

Who Knows More Useless 80's TV Knowledge? - The Duel

In our last post we debated what show should be dubbed the Best 80’s TV Show. Pat could only come up with the pathetic suggestions of Riptide and Silver Spoons while I suggested Threes Company, so obviously I won.

But in the process of crowning me supreme ruler of Best 80’s TV Show selecting, Pat challenged me to a duel. A duel to see who has the most useless 80’s TV knowledge!

And I accepted.

Now, the duels I usually find myself in typically involve pistols at dawn and are over a fair maiden or some kind of land squabble. But for our duel, here are the rules:

1. We can not use Google, Wikipedia, or any other source that is not our own brain (We’ll have to be on the honor system here. And I would like to point out at this time that Pat cannot be trusted.)

2. We’ll take turns asking each other 80’s TV Show trivia questions that we ourselves must know the answer to. Let’s say with each turn we can ask one question and one related bonus question.

3. We’ll score things up somehow after we grow tired of this and figure out who won.

Before we begin I would like to point out that while my 80’s TV Show knowledge is as powerful as some kind of Falcon and Stallion hybrid, my memory and knowledge of obscure actor names is not that great. So asking a lot of questions like “What was the name of the actor that played so and so” would be kind of a pussy thing to do. So I’m not going to do it.

Let’s begin!

Christian:  What was unusual about the child that Mork and Mindy eventually had? And as a bonus, what city did Mork and Mindy take place in? BAM!!!! FEEL MY THUNDER PAT!!!!

Pat: That’s how you want to start? Do you realize how traumatized I was, FOR YEARS AFTERWARDS, by the idea of a fully formed Jonathan Winters emerging from poor Pam Dawber’s--I mean “Mindy’s”-- womb, in full-on man diapers nonetheless? That’s enough to really mess a kid up!

Totally no clue on which city it was win there! I was too preoccupied with Mork’s suspenders and by the excessive chest hair protruding from his scoop necked top. Cool apartment maybe it was Cincinnati? Were they friends with the folks from WKRP? turn (and I’ll start off with a soft-pitch):

Which country star appeared at the end of Different Strokes’ run as the ex-husband of Mr. Drummond’s new fling, played by Dixie Carter. He was important, ‘cause his kid (and the implied soon-to-be stepbrother of Arnold, Willis and Kimberly) was one of those lame attempts to revive an ailing sit-com with a cute, bowl-cutted kid.  

Bonus: what was the kids’ character name?

Christian: I’m surprised you didn’t know what city Mork and Mindy lived in, since you’re such a geography whore. It was Boulder, Colorado.

You got me on this Different Strokes one. I don’t recall the end of the series too much. I was probably too busy socializing with friends and women around that time to have anytime to watch it. But I will guess John Denver since that was probably during his “acting” phase. Or did he play the kid? Was the kid’s name Billy? Seems like it had to be.

OK, no more easy ones for you.

Name three 80’s TV Shows that George Clooney had a regular role in. And for the bonus, I guess I’ll have to keep with the modern day actor theme, what 80’s TV Show did Courtney Cox have a reoccurring role in?

Pat: Okay...first the answers, respectively. Hoyt Axton, singer of the MASSIVE (non) hit “Bony Fingers”, and known for his mediocre cover of Dylan’s “Lay Lady Lay”, as well as for his mother’s fame as a songwriter, her most notable hit being the lyrics for “Joy to the World” (Three Dog Night, not the holiday jingle). And the kid’s name was Sam.

And...ouch, you got me! All I know is “Facts of Life”, but that’s it for Georgie, unless, of course, “ER” started in the Fall of ‘89. Do I want to know what else he was in?

And, duh!--“Family Ties”. How on earth are those two related? Are you going for thematic questions or are you just employing the “random sniping” method?

Christian: The relation was “modern day actors that were in 80’s TV Shows”. Pretty simple stuff.

Yes “Family Ties” was correct as was “Facts of Life” for George Clooney. The other two were “Roseanne” - He played Booker, boyfriend of Jackie in the first couple of seasons which came out in the late 80’s - and the third was ER! BUT not the ER you’re talking about which didn’t air until the 90s.

In the mid 80’s he was actually on another show called ER (I think it was written E/R) which was a sitcom and also starred Elliott Gould. I don’t think it was on for very long.

Pat: My turn--since you started with ‘Mork and Mindy”...what was the name of Pam Dawber’s follow-up hit sitcom?

BONUS question...what tragedy befell the co-star of that show?

BONUSx2 question...what city was said co-star from and what middle school did she go to?

BONUSx3 question (and WAY too easy, of you ask me!)...who was Pam Dawber’s real-life husband at the time of said follow-up sitcom?

ps...they might still be married. Hard to know in these times of fast-n-furious celebrity relationships. Oh, dammit! I just gave you a hint!

Christian: I didn’t realize you were such a Dawber zealot. I know I have always said it is good to have hobbies, but you might be taking this Pam Dawber one a little too far.

And to be honest, there were so many questions flying all over the place there that I’m now a little disheveled. So I’m just going to throw out some random answers in hopes that something sticks: It’s Our Time, Death from dieing, San Diego, Pam’s World, San Berardino Middle School, Denver, Hang gliding accident, Chocolate bunnies, Vin Diesel.

Did I get any right?

Pat:  Hah, hah, hah,

1.  My Sister Sam.

2.  She was killed by a stalker, prompting strict new privacy and anti-stalking laws in California.

3.  Roosevelt Middle School in...EUGENE, OREGON. Anyone representin’?!

4.  Duh! Mark Harmon!

Christian: Ah. All of that seems very familiar now, now that you have told me. Which means technically that knowledge was in my brain. Just not retrievable. Although I can’t believe I didn’t remember that girl being from Eugene*. I must have been too busy at the time, excelling at outdoor sports and meeting women, to have noticed.

But now lets try our hand at some Sci-Fi/Fantasy!

Buck Rogers: What was the name of the stuck up computer medallion thinging Twiki wore around his neck well before a certain member of Public Enemy made such fashion statements popular?


And for the bonus, sticking with the theme of Sci-Fi/Fa ntasy shows, not a Buck Rogers theme Pat, so don’t get confused when this next question isn’t about Buck Rogers even though the previous one was. Similar to how my one theme up above was “modern day actors that were in 80’s TV Shows” and you were expecting it to be a Family Ties theme which it turned out not to be.

OK, what was I talking about? Oh yes, crime fighting shape-shifters.

What was the name of the show that was about a guy that could morph into any kind of animal which naturally meant he should go around fighting crime. Which he did.

Pat:  Dammit! I swear that I spent years sitting in front of the TV after school watching reruns on “Buck Rogers” on KPTV, and while I can describe almost every one of Gil Gerard’s chest hairs, I cannot remember the name of Twiki’s necklace robot. Do I get credit for remembering that he had a robot girlfriend who uttered “Booty Booty”, in a slightly naughty manner, to his “Beety Beety”?

But number two...MANIMAL!!! Man, that would be fun to see again! I think if I had that power I’d turn into a river otter and never come back.

Christian: Yes Manimal! Here’s a cast photo that says it all:

Is there something in her hair?

But as for the robot medallion name? Dr. Theopolis. I always wonder what the highly intelligent Dr. Theopolis thought of only having a Frisbee for a body.

OK. Fire away!

Pat:  Y’know...there’s a band here in Portland with the name “Dr. Theopolis”. They’re kind of a funk-ish band, and I thought that name added a certain funkiness to their already existing funk, but now that I know they took it from a cheesy early ‘80s low-grade sci-fi show, one that I admittedly liked, I kind of find them a lot less funky. Hmm.

Okay...your turn, and we’re going public this time!

Name the educational show that aired during my formative years on the Public Broadcasting System (PBS be representin’, yo!) and that contained the fantastic serial Bloodhound Gang. By the way, this is another one that I can sing the song to. I will if you want me to. Do you want me to?

Christian: No singing please. Was it Electric Company?

Pat:  Nope, sorry sucker! That would be “3, 2, 1...Contact!” Is the secret, is the moment, when everything haaaaapens!”  And imagine that lyric layed on top of a killer “waka-waka” disco guitar track. AWESOME!

Do I win yet?

Christian: I’ll calculate the scores... Let’s see, one point for each correct answer... scale by difficulty factor... divide by the total number.... carry the Mork.... OK I have the results.

Looks like I won. Is that what you get?

Pat: No, that’s not what I got (and you know I’m not good at arithmetics, anyway). It’s not really fun playing games with you.

Y’know who IS fun to play games with? Chuck Woolery! Wanna’ try naming all of the 80s game shows HE was on? Do I hear a round two calling?

* FYI, cherished PCPPP readers, both Pat and I grew up in Eugene


  1. You carry the Mork, but to the *3rd* power -7, so I say this is a draw.

    Do over!

  2. But, the good news is, regardless of who won, you each get a lifetime supply of Rice-a-Roni!

    1. Sweet! I'm going to take that lifetime supply of Rice-a-Roni to Vegas and turn it into 10 lifetime supplies!

  3. I looked it up, and there is no "Mork" in math. Christian is a cheater!

  4. I'm afraid I'll never get the 3,2,1... Contact theme song out of my head now, except I always get the tune mixed up with the lyrics from other songs, which makes it exponentially more annoying. But at least I got to reminisce about Mork's excessive chest hair!

    1. I also now have the 3, 2, 1...Contact theme song stuck in my head, but what makes it exponentially more annoying for me is that when I get to the end, it just starts over again, because the end of the song is kinda like the beginning of the song. But I sort of love it because I loved that show so much as a kid, so I forgive you guys.

    2. Trina - I would like to also remind you that it was Pat that brought up the 3,2,1...Contact song and not me. Just another example of how he is an evil, evil bastard. No offense Pat.

    3. Okay, sorry, but, c'mon...there could be SO many other more annoying songs to get stuck in your head. Like the wordless, smoothe-jazz synth keyboard sounds of the Doogie Houser intro and outro. That's almost as bad as the music from Tetris.

  5. Overall, I bow to two amazing gurus of 80's trivia. However, I will take you down in any round of Buck Rogers trivia. For example, in Vegas in Space, why did Buck second guess meeting up with someone from Claussif 3?

    1. Damn impressive Dedrick. Did it have something to do with that Hawk guy? The one that had hawk hair.

    2. Yeah...I remember him! I think is name was "Hawk". Or had you already established that?

  6. All I can say is I stand in awe... sheer awe....

    1. I'm assuming that you are in awe at the severity of our wasted childhoods, that we obviously spent watching way too much TV.

    2. Thanks, Brahm...I often find myself in awe of myself too. Makes it hard to be productive, especially if there are mirrors around.

  7. Oh, I really love your conversations!! Ha! I knew that Roseanne fact. I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I laso love that WKRP was brought up. Wasn't Lonnie (or is it Lonni? Or neither?) in that one? Don't even get me started on Family Ties facts. That was my show!

    1. Yes Loni (had to look it up) was on WKRP. I was a huge fan. Of the show.

      I had almost asked who played the alcoholic uncle on Family Ties instead of the Courtney Cox question. I probably should have gone with the alcoholic uncle one.