Thursday, March 14, 2013

I'm Inadvertantly Stalking a HGTV House Hunters Couple, What Do I Do?

Here at PCPPP we often like to have a healthy discourse on a wide range of topics in hopes of presenting multiple sides of an issue until everyone is in agreement that I am right and Pat is wrong. But other times we use this forum to seek advice. This post is the latter.

This is going to be like one of those Dear Abby things where someone, me in this case, finds themselves in some awkward social situation and doesn’t know what the proper behavior should be. Granted, that describes the majority of my daily interactions but for this post I have a very specific situation that I have found myself in a couple of times now and I’m not sure I’m handling it correctly.

Basically the title of this post says it all. I’m inadvertently stalking a HGTV House Hunters couple. Here’s the backstory.

Many moons ago I was watching an episode of House Hunters and it turned out the couple was from Portland (the one in Oregon. Where Pat and I live). As I got into the episode I noticed that not only were they looking for a house in my city but they were also looking for a house in my neighborhood.

Anyhoo, they eventually bought a house so I turned off the TV and went back to working on my Cap N’ Crunch fan-fiction*.

A few months later I was at a neighborhood tacqueria** when I noticed a couple that looked familiar to me but I couldn’t remember from where. I didn’t say anything but on my way home I realized I recognized them from the show.

Artist rendering of what the couple did not look like.

Over the next year or so I’ve randomly bumped into them multiple times around our neighborhood. Mostly at our local park. They have kids around the ages of my kids so I have even spoken with the wife a couple of times.

The first time I spoke with her (and it should be noted that she began the conversation) I thought about mentioning House Hunters but by that time it had been a couple of years since I saw the show so that seemed weird.

But the conversation was odd because I already knew stuff about them from the show, like what they do for a living, how long they have lived in the neighborhood, etc. which if I hadn’t kept randomly seeing them around town I probably would have long forgotten. But I pretended to not know that stuff while I talked to her.

So Pat, should I have mentioned that I recognized them from House Hunters right away, even though it had been years since the episode aired, or did I handle the situation correctly by not saying anything? Or should I have coyly said something like “Hey House Hunters is a fun show right?” or “Hey, you ever wonder what happens to those House Hunters couples?” and see where that takes me?

Pat:  Yes. You should have. I’m a firm believer in the act of airing the awkwardness early on in the relationship, even if the relationship is largely centered around toddlers at a park.

‘Course, believing in the act doesn’t always bear the fruits I hope it does. I think I have a tendency to freak people out with my creepy knowledge of their lives. Kinda’ the inverse of oversharing.

Still...it makes ME feel better. So...whatcha’ gonna’ do?

Christian: Ah yes like on the occasion where we met for the very first time and you told me how much you admired the way I organized my underwear drawer. That was creepy indeed.

So are you advising that the next time I inevitably run into them that I tell them that I remember them from the House Hunters show? Or did I miss that opportunity? If you think I should, how should I broach the topic?

Pat:  What about leading in with something like, “Hey, I think I just figured out why you seem so familiar to me...

Wait...I think I just gave you actual advice, free from humor or sarcasm. Hmm. That’s no fun.

How ‘bout this? Next time you see them, say “Hey, how are you?” and then swiftly kick them in the crotch.

Yeah...that one seemed much more fun! Give it a go and let me know what happens.

Christian: OK, there’s another aspect to this that I haven’t mentioned that may change things. Since seeing this couple on House Hunters I have learned that House Hunters is rigged. My wife met a different couple awhile back that reached the interview portion of getting on the show. They told her that to qualify to be on the show you have to have already bought a house. The show then picks a couple of other houses and then films you going through those two and the one you already bought. The couples then pretend to debate over which one they are going to “buy”.

Additionally there was an article that came out last year sometime that talked about how the show is rigged. I would google it to get a link but the search bar is so far away. Practically all the way on the other side of the screen, so I’ll pass.

Anyways, does this change your opinion on how I should handle the situation? Maybe I should lead in with “Hey, I just remembered how I know you are a total sham...”

Pat:   Fuckers, man, they’re all just a bunch of lying fuckers. I hate people. Don’t talk to me anymore. Just for a little while.

Christian: OK got it. Call them lying fuckers and then move on. Thanks for the advice.



* Don’t worry everyone. This was before I started working on my Jared from Subway fan-fiction which is now my top priority.

** Spanish for taco purchasing location.

78 comments:

  1. You could always say that you saw the show recently. I'm sure they have re-runs. Also, of course that show has to be rigged. They couldn't just pull a couple off the street, what if they have awful credit? This is post 2008, they can't afford to not rig it.
    I once stalked the little people couple from "Little People, Big World" as they lived in my neighborhood and we apparently shopped at the same supermarket. Being that I'm over 6' tall and they're barely over 3', things got menacing real quick.

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    1. Are you saying that the show "Little People, Big World" was rigged too? I knew it!!!

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    2. Funny...I just read over these comments, and too quickly I realized, as I thought you two were talking about a show I hadn't heard about but was certainly excited about: "Little Pope, Big World".

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  2. Hey, it's on TV. That's not creepy for noticing it. It's a public entity. Now, if I saw someone move into the neighborhood and was like, "Hey, I saw your homemade porno that got uploaded to the Internet! How's it hanging? No wait, I already know that answer to that one, stud!" then... yes, that's extremely creepy.

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    1. So your advice is to not compliment them on their penises. Noted.

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    2. Wait...have you been hanging out outside my house?

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  3. what?? but surely not the UK version, that version is real and not lying to me right? For some reason I thought you guys were talking about ghost hunters - I am not sure why....

    I would have pretend I am a psychic the first time I talked to them and then just came out with a few facts I had learned of the show.

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    1. Oh I'm sure ghost hunters is not rigged.

      Also, I love the pretending to be a psychic idea. Why didn't I think of that! There was a lot of odd personal stuff in the episode that would work great for it.

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    2. wait, and then when they believe that you are a psychic you can get money out of them. Ohhh I am developing a new scheme here.

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  4. I would probably say "Were you ever on House Hunters?" That kind makes it seem like I MIGHT know that about them, but am detached enough to not be sure. And then I would interrupt their answer to change the subject just to make sure they know I'm not obsessed with it.

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    1. Or I was thinking that maybe I should ask if they were on Kitchen Nightmares and when they say "No we were on House-" Interrupt them and insist that they were on Kitchen Nightmares.

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    2. I like it! Coolly interested, and then, quick as a flash, coolly DISinterested!

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  5. Hi Christian,

    Since we are Facebook pals and all, I can be totally honest with you: House Hunters *used to* be real. I have watched it since the very beginning, and sometimes the people would buy the 2nd house and then the inspection would reveal some disaster and they would pull out of the deal! and sometimes they would look at 286 different houses (the house would be numbered at the bottom of the screen: House #84, House #177, House #286) and then the producers finally got smart and said FORGET IT-- these buyers are wasting our time!!! (imagine how the poor realtor felt......)

    So over a year ago, I wrote a post on this exact topic (title: "Is House Hunters Fake?") and lo and behold, I got spam beyond your wildest dreams. FOR MONTHS. I had to finally delete the post. Just something fun you two have to look forward to: lots of spam because of some robot that is connected to those liars at House Hunters. Did I mention spam?

    Anyway, with the House Hunter people, they film quite a bit of it in one day, so the real people/actors have to quickly change their outfits several times.

    As for your conundrum, I say you tell the people/ your neighbors that you are writing a blog about House Hunters, and by the way, have they ever watched the show? then just stand back and see what happens. I'll bet they lie.

    xxo
    MOV

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh no. We have recently been getting a ton of spam even before we posted this. It's going to get worse? Damn you HGTV House Hunters!!!!

      P.S. It does make me feel a little bit better about the show knowing that at least they tried to be legit at first.

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  6. When looking at the closets, did the husband and wife have sexist unfunny banter about how the wife gets the bigger closet because of her vast amount of clothes/shoes and out of control shopping? Was there any mention of a "man cave"? Did they almost dismiss a great house due to the paint color in one room? (I've watched an episode or two of the show...) Oh -- and you totally have to bring this up with them.

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    1. Oh yes. Knowing the show is rigged I'm now assuming that the couples are given scripts to receipt as they walk through the houses. It's too bad the show could only afford one script.

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    2. I would LOVE to be the script writer for that show! I would script them based on prototypical couples, like the couple who finishes each others' sentences, the couple who nibbles from each others' dinners, the couple who swings with elderly people...

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  7. Call them Lying fuckers, kick them in the crotch, call them a sham, and then casually mention House Hunters? This blog is so full of USEFUL information. LOL

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  8. You should just ask them if they know me. If they don't, start telling them about me in great detail. If they do, then you can bond over how great I am. It's how my sisters break the ice with strangers. They've done it since they were kids.

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  9. You should've come clean when you first met, but since that ship has sailed you should just sit on your park bench, write your fan fiction, and keep your mouth shut. Or you could kick'em in the crotch - that would work too.

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    1. I think I'll kick em in the crotch but also keep my mouth shut. If they don't know why I'm kicking them in the crotch then that's just more proof that they deserved it.

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    2. I've yet to find a situation where crotch-kicking didn't come in handy.

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  10. I know this is naive of me, but I honestly had no idea that show was rigged! I mean, I knew it had to be somewhat rigged and scripted, but they've already bought a house?! They go too far, sir!

    As for your dilemma, you should have mentioned it from the get go, it wouldn't have been creepy. But now, after you've talked to the wife multiple time? It would come off as a bit odd. You'll just have to live with your dirty little secret.

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    1. But I have so many dirty little secrets I'm already living with.

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    2. Wait...if THAT'S dirty then I'm in big trouble. My secrets, in comparison, are downright disgustingly filthy!

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  11. I figure that people who do reality shows are in love with their 15 minutes of fame. It'll absolutely made her day if you tell her that you recognize her from House Hunters. It's been 4 years since anyone's stopped her in a supermarket asking if she'll autograph their right breast.

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    1. Uh oh. I already have Jon Bon Jovi's signature on my right breast. What do I do?

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  12. Hey, if these people have appeared on TV then they must have signed something which waives their right to privacy. I suggest that you walk straight into their house and make yourself comfy on their sofa. You could stop everyday on your way home from work and help yourself to a refreshing glass of orange juice. If they protest, just let on that you know about their TV sham, and they will have to do everything you say. Blackmail those House Hunting bitches!

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  13. If I were you, I'd just casually mention it the next time you're watching them through their living room window and they come outside to spray you with the hose.

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    1. Believe me I've tried. But that water is so cold that it's hard to get any words out.

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  14. God you crack me up.

    I've added you to my blogroll.

    :-)

    Pearl

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  15. you could start the next conversation by telling them how you didn't want to appear weird by still remembering all of their personal details from so long ago and so you didn't want to say anything (make sure to emphatically drive home the 'i'm not weird' part, because nothing reassures people that you are,in fact, not a weirdo like consistently repeating that you are not a weirdo: see also: convincing people that you are not drunk; also don't forget to add that the show never talked about how pretty their children are, as this will help drive home your NOT A CREEPER agenda), but now you feel like they know that you know and maybe are just messing with you, and are maybe now on some hidden camera practical joke show punking you and you don't appreciate it but would love to be friends anyway. i'm sure you guys will have playdates scheduled by the end of this conversation....

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    1. So you are saying I should be drunk the entire time too, right?

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  16. Above all, thank you for clearing up the whole tacqueria thing. That's been weighing on me. I'm a huge fan of stalking. Though recently, I did find myself in an inadvertent stalking situation and it was slightly awkward. I'm with Robin above, next time you are peering through their windows, just be upfront and it will clear it all up.

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    1. I'll try calling them the next time I'm outside their window. We'll talk for awhile and clear everything up and then I'll say "And now look out your window" Then we'll all have a good laugh.

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  17. Next time you "accidentally" meet, show them this blog post on your Smart Pod or whatever you prep school boys carry around and then have Pat jump out of the bushes with his handycam and film the whole thing and it will be like a reality show in a reality show and yall will be famous.

    It may not work without bushes.

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    1. First of all it's called a intelli-pod. Secondly, it's Pat that supposedly went to prep school (he didn't), not me. Thirdly, do you know how hard it is explaining to Pat how to use a handycam? And lastly, what's a handycam? Is it one of those intelli-pod-phones that has a built in smart camera?

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    2. So you're saying you are pod people not prep school people? Got it.

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    3. I guess pod people is better than prep school people so we'll just go with that and cut our losses.

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    4. I guess I need to just start embracing this prep-school persona. What perks do I get from it? Honorary enrollment in the Dead Poet's Society?

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  18. Are any reality shows even real anymore? I used to watch the real estate one on Bravo, but saw a "behind the scenes" youtube video that just kind of killed it for me. The producers would tell one of the realtors, "hey, go start an argument with him." BS.
    I looove international house hunters, even if it's rigged. I get a chance to fantasize about about my very own place in Honduras or Spain.
    You should totally bring up the show and get it out of the way. People like to relive their past glories and talk about themselves.

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    1. I still love House Hunters International too despite all this.

      Maybe the next time I see the couple I'll say something like "Hey don't you think the people House Hunters International are way cooler than those losers on the regular House Hunters?" and then see what they say.

      Delete
  19. Sure - next you're going to try to tell us that those Bachelor shows are scripted. What is this, topsy-turvy world?

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    1. I know. I know. I've also heard that show Grimm is scripted.

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    2. Really Grimm is also Scripted!! Dam it you ruined it!! I guess I will have to tell the kids they can go play in that disappearing / reappearing house in the woods again, it isn't a werewolf hut.

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    3. I didn't say werewolf huts weren't real. In fact there is one for sale down the street from me but they are asking way too much considering the school district we are in.

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  20. I'm in shock. I mean, I've never seen the show, but how dare they promote real estate for free!? I suggest you buy them an ice cream, but they are not to partake of the ice cream until they view two other ice cream shoppes. However, the condition is that they have to stick with the original ice cream, no matter how melted it is. It'll serve them right for fooling the working man.

    Or maybe you should ask them how much money they made.

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    1. That is a FANTASTIC idea, but unfortunately we live in an area where there are no Shoppes of any kind. There's a Little Cornwall section of neighboring Oregon City, and they might have Shoppes, but, alas, none here.

      Delete
  21. This is so entertaining. Are any reality shows actually real anymore? I mean what's the point if it is rigged? I would search for the answer, but the search box is far, far away, over there, on the screen.

    Don't delete me, I'm not spam! I don't even get HGTV, mostly because I am too cheap to pay for fake reality TV. Or too cool, nope, too cheap.

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    1. Doesn't get HGTV?!?!?!! *thinks about hitting delete comment button then remembers HGTV is actually not that good*

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  22. I see you know my friends Kianwi, the Green Pickster and the Sarcasm Goddess... Well, well, this is too much. Nice to meet you too. I like you pointy thing there, but be careful with it for I'm kind of sensitive.

    I often find myself wondering what the proper behavior should be in a given awkward social situation. Then I just do my thing only to find out that was not the proper thing to do. So I just phone Pickleope by pressing that special green button on my blue phone and he'll tell me to just stop stalking him for it's driving him nuts. Well, it's a good thing I've found you now. Something tells me you've got all the answers in store even though you're pretending that you don't. Personally, I think you should have just been frank and told her you have this special shrine with her face smack in the middle of it that you adore so much. You know, to break the ice a little bit. ;)

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    1. Welcome Blue Grumpster! Trust me. If it's one thing we don't have, it's all the answers. Or any answers for that matter.

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    2. So what am I to do now? I've got so many questions. Do you think I should buy a computer and use google? ;)

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    3. That or have a friend on speed dial that has a computer and uses google.

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  23. Or date the incredibly attractive woman who invented google and let her whisper whatever you need to hear in your incredulous ear.

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  24. So am I the only one that is a little curious about both the Cap'n Crunch and Jared from Subway fanfic? Because seriously, I'm intrigued.

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    1. Don't worry. I'm currently contemplating combining the two. On one hand it allows me to dive into both at the same time but on the other hand, would it seem far fetched to have Jared exist in Cap'n Crunches world? I don't know. Writing is hard.

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  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. So glad MOV put me onto you - great blog! Jodie sothisis40-really.blogspot.com

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  26. What fun. Like Jodie, I am so glad that I found MOV and then she pointed me to your blog. Notice the clever way I connected to your blog title?

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  27. Came over here from MOV at mothersofbrothersblog. :)
    O.K., so I'm reading along, and honestly it only took me about 5 sentences before I was already deciding to follow you, but then........ I got to the end.
    Fuckers, Lying Fuckers, Crotch Kicking! After all that I thought I am SO TOTALLY FOLLOWING them.
    There is something about reading a post, seeing a curse word and feeling a bit more relaxed.:)
    I just gravitated this whole comment towards the 'F' word.
    House Hunter stalking advice?? What?

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    1. Welcome aboard! We're glad we could relax you. We encourage a relaxed atmosphere around here.

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  28. This is great. I haven't stalked a reality show couple, but sometimes I feel awkward running into people who I haven't seen in years but know everything about from Facebook.

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    1. Yeah it's a lot like that. Stalking a reality show couple isn't nearly as glamorous as one would expect.

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  29. You didn't whip out your "House Hunters Autograph Book" while wearing your "I'm you biggest fan ala Misery" t-shirt?!

    You guys are awesome and thank you for linking up with the Humor Me! Blog Hop again!!! :)

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    1. Normally I have my "House Hunters Autograph Book" on me at all times but I had just recently filled it up and hadn't had a chance to buy a new one.

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