Thursday, April 18, 2013

Blogging is SO 2011!

It’s probably clear to our readers by now which one of us possesses the master technology skills and which one is devastatingly handsome. And, might I add...thank you!

I admit to not being very adept at the latest technological trends. Christian did have to tell me that I didn’t need a “fancy phone” (my words) in order to follow his Twitters. He also is the person solely responsible for making sure that these words I type make their way onto the world wide web.

But what you may not know is that, while a bit slow with techie trends, I tend to be VERY hip to all other trends. For example, I know that Paula Dean is kinda’ on the outs now, and that the cooks in the little artisanal vegan deep-fry gluten-free food carts are the new chef-ebrities! And I know that Duran Duran is on its way back. Just you wait!

So...I heard about a little something developing in the world of mass media and communication that I wanted to run by Christian:

Pat:  Hey buddy--have you heard of podcasts? I think we need to do one of those. I heard that blogs are out, and that we really should be using our voices instead of our fingers to say words to one another.  

I heard some younger people at a coffee shop talking about them the other day, and, from the sounds of it, I think these podcasts are poised to be about as revolutionary as CDs were a couple of years ago.

Whaddya’ say...you game for trying something new?

Christian: I don’t know. I know about podcasts and their popularity but I don’t know if that format would work for me. I know you’re able to just toss out your portions of these posts in mere seconds without having to put much time, thought, or any effort into them but for me it’s a long painstaking process.

Every word is thoroughly thought out and chosen specifically for succeeding in its purpose. If we did a podcast I would feel rushed and wouldn’t be able to hold myself to the high standard of word choosing that I uh... hold myself to. Artists can’t be rushed. People didn’t rush da Vinci or Tolstoy or Rush.

Pat:   Good point...hadn’t thought about that. Indeed, how many masterpieces would we be WITHOUT if Alex, Neil and Geddy had been hurried through their 12 minute long opusses? Opusi? Opus’?  

Not sure who those other two guys are, but I trust you. Were they Canadian too?

I have an idea, though! What if we put a new spin on this whole podcast “fad” by making ours the slowest podcast ever, in order to truly honor the craft? That way people could experience, firsthand, the agonizing energy and thought it takes to create such brilliance. You in?

Christian: What do you mean by slow? Because my concern is that the majority of the podcast would just be silence or me repeatedly saying “Ummm...”.

Pat:   Yeah...just like that. But I could fill in the silences between your “ummms” with my own annoyingly verbose attempts to guess what it is you’re thinking of saying. Like this:

Christian:  Ummm...

Pat:   Oh, I know, you’re thinking it’s like when you eat that last part of a banana, the part that’s kind of hard and makes you gag a little and then yo-

Christian:  Ummm...no.  Ummm...

Right?

Christian: Sure, in written word that sounds pretty captivating. But I’m guessing in a recorded sound medium that might come across as ummmm... boring.

Are you thinking that we would prepare a script ahead of time and then read from it? Because I can read. Or were you thinking about improvising it? I’m not good at improvising. I once tried to improvise a eulogy I was giving and it just ended up with me showing everyone pictures of my cats from my phone.

Pat:  See, that’s not going to work, because I think on a podcast you can only make sounds. So people wouldn’t be able to see the pictures of your cats. Scratch that idea off the list before we forget and try to get people to hear the pictures.

Well, everyone knows that improvisation is the source of all truly great comedy. But if it’s hard for you, then maybe we can try scripting your part and leaving my part for the impromptu stuff. I bet I could fill in the gaps between your ideas really easily. You’ve never been that hard to figure out.  In fact, I bet I can predict what you’re going to say right after this sentence, so I’ll go ahead and respond in advance AFTER you’ve said it.

Christian:

Pat:  Really? That’s funny, ‘cause I’ve never really liked them. Something about warmed tuna with melty cheese kinda’ grosses me out. (Psst!  How’d I do?)

Christian: Hah! See, you put me on the spot there and my mind went blank. Granted I may have been distracted by this amazing tuna melt I’m eating but I don’t think you could come anywhere close to predicting what I might say.

For now, I’ll think some more about diving into the podcast realm. Especially if you think they are going to be the next CDs. I don’t want to miss out on “cutting any edges off of technology”, as the technology edge cutting people say.

But damn this is a good tuna melt. Although to be honest I could eat tuna melts everyday.

46 comments:

  1. I'm so relieved Duran Duran is coming back, it's like I've been hungry as a wolf waiting to devour their next sound sandwich. I'm pretty sure you have a podcast already. It seems like everyone has a podcast even if the ghost of Steve Jobs has to record you in secret to upload you into iTunes.

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    1. What is a sound sandwich? is that related to hearing the pictures? or is that more tasting the sounds? my 5 senses are woefully underprepared for this new millennium or the apocalypse or anything else where my 5 senses have to cross over and do the work of my other senses. *sigh*

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    2. You know, I'm 40 years old, but I'd still give my right nut to play second synthesizer to Nick Rhodes.

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  2. Tuna Melts, now we are talking, I could eat them all the time! Podcasts, I could describe what i have drawn or what I would like to draw. People would totally dig that.

    Or you jump straight to making a video showing us pictures of cats!

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    1. Or maybe our podcasts should be us describing drawings we made of videos of cats.

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  3. I love podcasts! You guys should totally so a podcast! The only thing to decide would be the theme. May I suggest reviewing old episodes of The Facts Of Life?

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    1. "You take the good, you take the bad..."

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  4. "Get people to hear the pictures"-- bwahahahahah!!!!!!!!

    So, would this "PointCast" (my improvement on the word PodCast, which I have now lovingly tailored to your specific genre) be released in "real time"? just wondering.

    And I hate improvising. "Improvising" is French for "saying stupid shit without thoroughly thinking it through." Damn French people.

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    1. Darnit. I've kinda' been improvising through life, MOV. Can I blame my shortcomings on the French then?

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  5. MOV sent me over here and I am so glad she did.

    I can see where you would think that Podcasting is a techy way of keeping current and trendy but I have to warn you that there is a huge downside. People sign on but pay no attention to them. I know this as my company forces Podcasts down my throat with the same level determination as I have while trying to get a liver pill down my cat's throat. (I only wish I had claws dug into my employer's arms...oops I digress) I am here to tell you, a person can ignore 99.9 percent of every spoken Podcasty word. They are all boring.

    The upside to watching your Podcast though...once I sign on, I could go to the kitchen and cook me a yummy Tuna Melt.

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    1. Thanks for the lookie-loo, Cheryl! Since you're new to us, I should warn you to not get too excited about anything we say in our blog. About 125% of the things we say we're going to do never come to fruition.

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    2. Yes but the other -25% come to fruition 100% of the time!

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    3. That might have been a record for the most uses of "fruition" in a single blog post. Think anyone can top 3 instances without referring to a sports or energy drink?

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  6. Wait, you don't need a fancy phone to hear the sound of birds tweeting? Plus Duran Duran...too distracted with new info to read now. I wish I could just listen to what you guys have to say!

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    1. Maybe we should just do an audio book version of our blog. We'll get Samuel L. Jackson to read it.

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    2. Ooh...or me PRETENDING to be Samuel L. Jackson! I've been working on my impressions!

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  7. If you start a podcast, don't forget to have a soundboard with various fart noises. Everyone loves a joke that's accentuated by an obnoxiously exaggerated fart.

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    1. True. I don't even need the preceding joke. The fart alone is all the funny I'm looking for.

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  8. I love this blog.

    I am voting for the podcast. Do it! I can imagine your cat riding the unicorn. It will be fine!

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    1. Where do you envision the cat sitting?

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  9. Pat, I'd do a podcast with you. Christian, I'd eat tuna melts with you. Or better yet- we could eat tuna melts together and talk about them on the podcast. We could share funny stories of past tuna melts that we've eaten. It will be great!

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    1. Sweet! You're on, Megiweg. But you can't eat the tuna melt in the same room as me. The smell of melty tuna is gag-inducing.

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    2. I would very much like to hear that podcast, you guys. The tuna melt talk, the sound of Pat gagging, and whatever else happens.

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    3. And lots of cats running around. Don't forget the cats running around Trina.

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  10. I don't know how I ended up here but I'm glad I did... If you do end up doing podcasts, I hope you keep writing too

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    1. We're glad you ended up here too. And don't worry we won't give up writing, it's in our blood. No wait, that's alcohol.

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    2. Yeah...but I hope this isn't really the end for you. I mean, I like our blog, but I don't think it's the kind of place yo want to be your last.

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  11. I advise against the podcast unless you don't mind having your listening public suspect you're both women. It's much easier to act like manly men in a blog than open your woosy boy mouths and remove all doubt.

    Not that there's anything wrong with being a woosy boy. I'm just saying.

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    1. I actually have a very deep voice. So much so that I'm concerned that modern recording technologies wouldn't be able to record such a deep frequency and our podcasts would end up sounding like Pat is just talking to himself.

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    2. He's right. Little known fact--every time Christian speaks in my presence, another chest hair emerges. Yep...his deep voice makes me more manly, that's how deep it is.

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  12. Maybe you could just describe the cat pictures to us?

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    1. Imagine the most cutest adorable thing you have ever seen. No add a cat sitting on my lap.

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  13. Okay well hear comes Julie to rain on your parade. If you are going to podcast, WHICH YOU TOTALLY SHOULD, you are going to need a blogging platform that can handle podcasts with a feed and itunes and yadda yadda yadda. In other words, you and your techified buddy are gonna have to step it up.

    By the way, I feel like I can talk smack to you because I LOVE YOU and spread your stuff all the time. :P

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    1. Smack away, Julie. We love smack. In fact, we usually engage in mutual smacking when we write our posts together.

      So...do you suggest plywood or some other material for the platform?

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  14. All I know is 12 minute long opusses is my new favorite phrase. Oh and also where is the pod that you would be casting from?

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    1. Know what I love, Stacey? Right after we posted this blog, I heard Geddy and Alex from Rush interviewed on 'Q'with Jian Ghomeshi and they were talking about how much THEY loved their 12 minute long opusses...opussies...opussi...songs.

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  15. I would never be able to do a podcast, because I would be afraid I'd come off boring and illiterate. To be honest, all my posts start out that way...I don't know WHAT I would do without my dog to proofread for me.

    Tuna melts are the type of food that never actually sound very good when offered, but actually taste quite delicious if you just give them a chance. All they want is a chance.

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  16. Don't mention you're eating a tuna melt. I hear Paula dean will show up at your house and break your window with a brick to get in.

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  17. There's nothing like a good Ummmmmmm. Duran Duran is on its way back from where? ;) Sorry, I couldn't help myself. It's just a reflex.

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    1. That because I'm a wild boy. Who thinks he's a man. Minor detail.

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  18. that's really amazing...i am not related to USA..will you please tell me that what is the complete procedure for applying in that.
    Estetik

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