It’s probably clear to our readers by now which one of us possesses the master technology skills and which one is devastatingly handsome. And, might I add...thank you!
I admit to not being very adept at the latest technological trends. Christian did have to tell me that I didn’t need a “fancy phone” (my words) in order to follow his Twitters. He also is the person solely responsible for making sure that these words I type make their way onto the world wide web.
But what you may not know is that, while a bit slow with techie trends, I tend to be VERY hip to all other trends. For example, I know that Paula Dean is kinda’ on the outs now, and that the cooks in the little artisanal vegan deep-fry gluten-free food carts are the new chef-ebrities! And I know that Duran Duran is on its way back. Just you wait!
So...I heard about a little something developing in the world of mass media and communication that I wanted to run by Christian:
Pat: Hey buddy--have you heard of podcasts? I think we need to do one of those. I heard that blogs are out, and that we really should be using our voices instead of our fingers to say words to one another.
I heard some younger people at a coffee shop talking about them the other day, and, from the sounds of it, I think these podcasts are poised to be about as revolutionary as CDs were a couple of years ago.
Whaddya’ say...you game for trying something new?
Christian: I don’t know. I know about podcasts and their popularity but I don’t know if that format would work for me. I know you’re able to just toss out your portions of these posts in mere seconds without having to put much time, thought, or any effort into them but for me it’s a long painstaking process.
Every word is thoroughly thought out and chosen specifically for succeeding in its purpose. If we did a podcast I would feel rushed and wouldn’t be able to hold myself to the high standard of word choosing that I uh... hold myself to. Artists can’t be rushed. People didn’t rush da Vinci or Tolstoy or Rush.
Pat: Good point...hadn’t thought about that. Indeed, how many masterpieces would we be WITHOUT if Alex, Neil and Geddy had been hurried through their 12 minute long opusses? Opusi? Opus’?
Not sure who those other two guys are, but I trust you. Were they Canadian too?
I have an idea, though! What if we put a new spin on this whole podcast “fad” by making ours the slowest podcast ever, in order to truly honor the craft? That way people could experience, firsthand, the agonizing energy and thought it takes to create such brilliance. You in?
Christian: What do you mean by slow? Because my concern is that the majority of the podcast would just be silence or me repeatedly saying “Ummm...”.
Pat: Yeah...just like that. But I could fill in the silences between your “ummms” with my own annoyingly verbose attempts to guess what it is you’re thinking of saying. Like this:
Pat: Oh, I know, you’re thinking it’s like when you eat that last part of a banana, the part that’s kind of hard and makes you gag a little and then yo-
Christian: Ummm...no. Ummm...
Christian: Sure, in written word that sounds pretty captivating. But I’m guessing in a recorded sound medium that might come across as ummmm... boring.
Are you thinking that we would prepare a script ahead of time and then read from it? Because I can read. Or were you thinking about improvising it? I’m not good at improvising. I once tried to improvise a eulogy I was giving and it just ended up with me showing everyone pictures of my cats from my phone.
Pat: See, that’s not going to work, because I think on a podcast you can only make sounds. So people wouldn’t be able to see the pictures of your cats. Scratch that idea off the list before we forget and try to get people to hear the pictures.
Well, everyone knows that improvisation is the source of all truly great comedy. But if it’s hard for you, then maybe we can try scripting your part and leaving my part for the impromptu stuff. I bet I could fill in the gaps between your ideas really easily. You’ve never been that hard to figure out. In fact, I bet I can predict what you’re going to say right after this sentence, so I’ll go ahead and respond in advance AFTER you’ve said it.
Pat: Really? That’s funny, ‘cause I’ve never really liked them. Something about warmed tuna with melty cheese kinda’ grosses me out. (Psst! How’d I do?)
Christian: Hah! See, you put me on the spot there and my mind went blank. Granted I may have been distracted by this amazing tuna melt I’m eating but I don’t think you could come anywhere close to predicting what I might say.
For now, I’ll think some more about diving into the podcast realm. Especially if you think they are going to be the next CDs. I don’t want to miss out on “cutting any edges off of technology”, as the technology edge cutting people say.
But damn this is a good tuna melt. Although to be honest I could eat tuna melts everyday.