Are Those Magical Witch Doctors We Call Hypnotists Real?

There aren’t very many things that I would say frighten me. Spiders? Not really. They seem rather silly with all those legs.

Sharks? I’m pretty sure I can outrun a shark. Assuming we are both on land.

Fire? Who am I Frankenstein?

Justin Bieber*? I’m not afraid to punch that guy in the smile.

However, one thing I am definitely afraid of is having my brain taken over and controlled by some ruler of evil. But who isn’t?

Of course I’m talking about hypnotists. These wizard types apparently have the ability to put someone under their spell and force them to do their bidding no matter how embarrassing and/or dangerous. Or do they?

I have always thought of hypnotists as sort of like magicians. Obviously not as cool and sophisticated as magicians, what with their dancing tigers and exotic woman friends. Not to mention their fancy and mystical hand movements that we would all die for.

The essence of class.

(source)

No, not as cool as magicians, but similar to how magicians do “tricks” I have always assumed hypnotists were also doing “tricks”. I mean if they were real, wouldn’t the military have armies of them by now, going around hypnotizing countries?

My question is, are hypnotists real? And if so shouldn’t we be scared?

Pat: Y’know, dear friend, if you scroll back through many of our posts you’ll notice a slight trend--there are quite a few instances where you analyze my words and make subtle questions or suggestions regarding the sanity of my ideas.  

Care to reconsider any of those comments?

I guess I have to be honest--I have not given any thought (seriously...not even an iota, and I don’t use that word very often!) to hypnotists. Magicians, yes--who can resist David Copperfield making things disappear on TV!--but not hypnotists. Sorry.

Wait! Does Simon Baker’s character on The Mentalist count? Is he a hypnotist? Is he the kind of person you’re talking about being afraid of?

Stare DEEP into my dreamy eyes, Christian!

Christian: I’m not sure. I’ve never watched that show so as of right now I’m not afraid of him. But that could easily change if he were to lay those dreamy eyes on me.

Basically all I want to know is, is there solid science behind this whole hypnotizing people thing or is it just smoke and mirrors and a bunch of hooey?

I’ve had many people tell me that they know someone or know someone that knows someone that has been hypnotized and that they claim it is real. But I definitely have had no first hand experience myself and have never even talked to anyone that has claimed to have had first hand experience.

And I can say the same thing for “spotting a Leprechaun**”.

So this makes me skeptical. You’re a teacher shouldn’t you know the answer to this?

Pat:  Listen, buddy--if I were the sole teacher in a rural single-room schoolhouse with 15 kids ranging in age from 6 to 18 back in Walnut Grove circa 1874, then yes, you could presume that I SHOULD know just about everything. But I’m not, so instead I specialize in pretending to know a lot about a very thin slice of all the known things in the universe. Got it?

That said, at heart I am a skeptic, so I tend to doubt all of those kinds of things--magicians, hypnotists, organized religions, the theory of cholesterol, Cuba...

Like you’ve said, show me the science and then I’ll believe it!

Then again, my mom said, with complete steadfastness, that I had an angel watching over me. Like, right over me, as my mom was talking to me. She looked just over my shoulder and said, “Right there...there she is! She’s beautiful! And she’ll always help you make the right decisions.” Kinda’ freaked me out for the next two decades, ‘cause moms don’t make that stuff up, right?

Christian:  Was your mom a hypnotist?

Pat:  Nope, she was a teacher, like me. And then a collector of crystals and then a lover of crucifixes (crucifi?), both of which are unlike me. Oh, and she did get into tarot for awhile. Why do you ask?

Christian: Well, it’s just that a lot of those things you just listed as your mom’s hobbies I would equate to hypnotising people.

Since you obviously don’t have an answer for me I’m afraid I’m just going to have to take a minute and google to see if hypnotists are the real deal.

*three weeks go by*

OK, apparently it’s somewhat real. According to How Stuff Works “It is a trance state characterized by extreme suggestibility, relaxation and heightened imagination.”

They then go on to compare it to reading, driving, watching a movie and, for some reason, to mowing the lawn (Don’t say it Pat!***).

But they do say that even though people in this trance are more suggestible or perhaps just more agreeable, hypnotists can’t get you to do anything you don’t really want to do. Phew!

However, I’m still afraid of them and think they should all be arrested.

Pat:  Ha! I TOLD you there was merit to lawn mowing, buddy! Me and a handful of quack hypnotists cannot be wrong!


* No, I did not mention Justin Bieber’s name just so that we would show up in more google searches and increase our SEO or whatever that mythical thing is that brings more people that have no interest in reading our blog, to our site. Porn, Lady GaGa, Free Bieber tickets, sex leopards.
** I’m assuming Leprechauns aren’t real either, but again, I haven’t seen the science.
*** Pat and I have a long ongoing argument about lawn mowing which you can read about here.