Thursday, January 24, 2013

Down With the U.K. (again)!

Here at the PCPPP campus ideas flow like a nice sturdy box of wine down a river flowing with wine. Between Pat, myself, and the steady stream of young, attractive, and unpaid interns we have revolving through here on a weekly basis, it’s sometimes hard to keep track of all of the flowing ideas. Not to mention keeping track of which boxes of wine are empty and which still have some idea juice in them.

Our blog post writings typically consists of one of us creating a shared Google doc and starting out on a topic idea. We then take turns writing back and forth on it until it is crowned complete. It is then handed off to one of our young, attractive, and unpaid interns who dictates it into a recording device and makes four copies of the recorded blog post, two of which are moved into two separate safety deposit boxes at two different banks found in two different cities. The intern then destroys one of the remaining recorded copies along with the computer they read the original Google doc off of. The last recorded copy is given to another intern who then transcribes the recorded copy back into a new Google doc. When the post is finally scheduled to be published a third intern copies the contents of the new Google doc into Blogger and publishes it. At that point the third intern is destroyed. I mean layed off.

But where was I? Oh yeah keeping track of ideas. We’re not good at it. For example this post. Today I looked into my shared Google folder and noticed an empty doc with the title “Down With the U.K. (again)!”

According to Google docs, Pat created and titled this document. I have a vague memory of discussing some ideas with him while we were at a local drinking establishment one evening long ago. I don’t recall all the details but I think it had something to do with the fact that after watching the opening or closing ceremonies of the Olympics I felt like England was trying to take credit for the Cosby Show. But again the details are hazy.

Pat, do you recall what this post was supposed to be about?

Pat: I’m not sure, exactly, but after the number of times you mentioned “Google” in the intro, I feel like it should be about the power of name recognition and underwriting in small-scale humor blogs (we ARE small scale, right?).

Yeah...it had something to do with the Olympics. You didn’t like the opening. Or the closing. Or the fact that other countries won medals. Or something like that.

Was Cosby in the ceremonies? I don’t remember that part. Was he on the flatbed truck with Madness? On the bus with Fatboy Slim? Dancing with Eric Idle?

Remember Lisa Bonet? I REALLY liked her in “Angel Heart”...much more so than in the Cosby Show.

What were we talking about?

Christian: She was great in “Angel Heart”! Or was it that she was naked in “Angel Heart”? It’s one of the two. Mickey Rourke was in that too right? He should have been a regular on the Cosby Show.

But yeah I’m pretty sure England tried to take credit for the Cosby Show during one of their Olympic ceremonies. I did an internet investigation into it and found that during the time of the Olympics someone did tweet this:

“WTF! The British think they came up with Cosby? I don’t think so. Siri, who created Bill Cosby? Damnit Siri I don't want any Jello. #twitter”

But upon further investigation it turns out it was me that tweeted that, so I’m really not that much closer to proving it.

One other question I have is why is there an “(again)” in the post title? I understand the whole “Down With the U.K.” part of it but do you remember why you added the “(again)”?

Pat: SO many questions! I get a little flustered, buddy. Can we do one at a time?

Lisa Bonet naked? Definitely! But I appreciated her for her acting abilities.

Mickey Rourke? Never on Cosby, to my knowledge. Probably best that way. Rudy was just so innocent...I don’t know what Mickey would have done to that precious little psyche. Wait...are we talking Mickey a’la Diner or Mickey a’la The Wrestler? Kinda’ makes a difference.

Cosby? Are you sure you didn’t mean “Crosby”? I only ask, because I frequently find myself forgetting which one of the CSN & Y fellas is British (and which one is Canadian is a whole other...oh, don’t get me started!), and I wonder if you got David mixed up with Graham, and if you did I BET that was darn near frustrating enough to cause you to tweet angrily. Think that might have been the case?

Again? Well, heck, that one’s easy. Have you forgotten about that revolutionary grudge you still carry around with you? Oh geez...I remember the last time you and I went out to eat, and you nearly Hulked the table when I thought of ordering bangers-and-mash! Who knew you had such a vehement hatred for the Brits? Not me, I tell ya’. But I learned my lesson, and from now on it’s nothing but Phó and Sauerkraut and the like when we sup together.

Christian: They were the ones that did that Revolutionary War thing!?!?!? Then down with them indeed! And now they think they can just steal The Cosby show along with one of the members of Crosby Stills Nash & Young! I don’t think so.

In fact I’m going to start a petition right now to get the Unites States to succeed from the United Kingdom. I don’t care if we have to go to war over it. This has to be done! Pronto!

When are we meeting for drinks again?

Pat:  Umm...I think we already did succeed from the Brits. Just look at our dollar compared to their pound, or pense, or tuppence...or whatever the hell they use to buy things. Oh, and our teeth. Look at our teeth, too. Total success!

Christian: OK, I just had one of our young and highly attractive interns point out to me that I accidentally said “succeed” instead of “secede from the United Kingdom”. I’m sure this was a failure on Google doc’s spell checker or something. Needless to say the intern has been fired.

43 comments:

  1. I can only assume that you also paused to reflect on bing Crosby somewhere in all of this? This post ws a fabulous way to start my day!

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  2. I always feel like "Bangers and Mash" should refer to something sexy or sinister. Although I suppose the dish could be either of those things, if you swing that way.

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    1. I prefer to swing away from Bangers and Mash. Not my cup of tea. Same goes for tea.

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    2. Then why are you using a reference about "Cup of Tea" cause clearly if you don't like Bangers and Mash and you don't like Tea.... Then they are YOUR cup of tea! Right?

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    3. Now you've got me rethinking tea. Maybe tea is my cup of tea. I definitely don't like coffee though. So coffee is not my cup of tea. Or do I say coffee is not my cup of coffee?

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  3. Your writing process seems very reasonable. Do you give the intern college credit for that?
    I hate when you write something down then come back to it later and ask yourself what the hell you were thinking when you jotted that down.
    I say the English can have CSN (but not Y, the Y is ours...and sometimes a vowel). The Cosby Show should be split. The first 10 seasons are clearly American, while the last 15 seasons where they introduced like another dozen children from out of nowhere, those can be give to Canada, and thus, by extension, the UK.

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    1. The interns do get college credit but unfortunately only from unaccredited colleges. Totally worth it though. To us, not them, that is.

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  4. I'd rather have pho and sauerkraut over bangers and mash anyday. "Bangers and mash" sounds like such an exciting food, but it's one of the most bland things you could ever put in your mouth.

    "So, what's your favorite kind of cuisine?"
    "British," said no one ever.

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  5. Now I'm confused (more than usual). Micky Rourke is British? He's does a really great job with the accent. Also, in which episode of The Cosby Show was Denise naked? I must have missed that one.

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    1. It was the one where she makes a stylish shirt for Micky Rourke because he couldn't afford the brand name shirt but then the shirt turned out disastrous so he goes to New Orleans to try out Voodoo and then the devil shows up.

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  6. Hmmm, I would have thought that the campus of PCPPPPPPP would have been flowing with some foofoo French wine since y'all went to prep school. Or at least homemade dandelion wine since Pat is a hippy.

    it's nice to know the vast enterprise which is PCPPPPPPPPP is just like the rest of us regular folk who put their wine boxes on one foot at a time.

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    1. I love that you know them so well. And, I too, like to put boxed wine boxes on me feet.

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    2. Prep school? We never went to no prep school. Oh. You're probably getting that vibe from Pat. No he didn't go to prep school. But I wouldn't put the homemade dandelion wine past him.

      "I put my wine boxes on one foot at a time" should be on a T-shirt. Let me know when This N hat Second Hand Store has them in stalk. I'll order one.

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  7. For the love of God, go put down whatever you're doing and go have drinks again so we can look forward to more posts like this. And I think now the gig is up--you guys actually own Google and/or a boxed wine company. I can see equal benefits to both.

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    1. We are actually looking into potentially starting a new business where we step it up a notch and sell crated wine. More is always better right?

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  8. This sounds like every conversation I have ever had.

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    1. It definitely sounds like every conversation Pat and I have had. :)

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  9. Yeah - Thursdays - when PCPPP gets off their chairs and actually posts something!! LOL - you guys - I don't know - I spend half the time going WTF do these people smoke to think like this and then the other half laughing my fuckin ass off!

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    1. I hate to say this but sometimes we even skip a week. We don't want to make any excuses but it's totally because of the economy, global warming, slow internet connection, our upbringing, cost of paper, and gluten.

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  10. Bill Cosby interviewed Ashton Eaton before the Olympics, but I'm not sure what that would have to do with your premise, which I really wish you could remember.

    But what I want to talk about is the episode where Vanessa and Denise get in a physical fight because Vanessa borrowed Denise's sweater without asking. I don't know what I want to say about it but I feel like this post is really a free for all so I just wanted to bring it up.

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    1. I'm glad you brought that up.


      As for Bill Cosby, I think I saw a clip from the Cosby Show during the part the ceremonies where they were playing clip after clip of British TV shows and Movies. I didn't mention it in the post but I'm positive they also showed a clip from Shrek in there. Granted Shrek has a Scottish accent but he was played by a Canadian, the movie took place in a make believe land, and the movie was made by an American company. Come on!

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  11. So anyone who googles "Cosby," "England" and "Olympics" will now see your post first. Or a naked Lisa Bonet competing in a bangors and mash eating contest.

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    1. They'll fit right in with all the people that keep finding our site by searching for "sexy pictures of Mary Lou Retton".

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  12. As I sit here on a nice sunny day in California I have to agreed that yes we've had "sucess" from Britain!

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    1. Well up here in the Northwest we are currently not experiencing "success" from Britain. It's cold and rainy just like an episode of the Cosby Show filmed in London.

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    2. Finally, a cogent, hard hitting investigative look into the Cosby/ U.K Conundrum.

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  13. You've driven me to drink.

    And it was delicious.

    Pearl

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  14. This is just like all the conversations I have with my Beloved [Maris], only funny!

    And are you aware that the U.K. tries to take credit for the Beatles? Like, ALL the time? We know the Elvis invented the Beatles in the visitors' locker room at Shea Stadium, but whatevs, Brits.

    P.S. BANGERS & MASH!!
    (runs away whooping, a la Daffy Duck)

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    1. I've noticed that too. The next thing you know they're going to try and take credit for Shakespeare too.

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  15. You two seem to have a lot of interns. Just be careful, that didn't work out so well for Bill Clinton ... or it worked out really well, depending on how you look at it.

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    1. Yes that intern definitely had her pros and cons. We'll be careful.

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  16. Hey Christian and Pat,
    I made you a favicon of your own tiny unicorn to put on the
    http://pointcounterpoint etc etc
    part of your blog! See if you look up there now it is an orange "B" for blogger? well, you can put your own up there. I was going to email you the attachment for your favicon (that sounds vaguely illicit, doesn't it?) but seems you never answer your email that you set up on your contact page. If you give me your email then I will email it to you.
    And this is not spam. It is me MOV being nice (does not happen too often, so should take advantage while you can).
    ok, bye!
    xxo
    MOV

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    1. Cool our very own homemade favicon! That's awesome. The e-mail on our contact page is correct and we do get and reply to email with it. Have you tried sending us something? I checked the spam folder and didn't see anything there. It's PCPPPBlog AT gmail DOT com

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    2. awesome-- just emailed it over, check your email account (it should say from julie harrison not MOV)

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    3. Got it! And got up and going too. Looks much better. Thanks so much MOV!

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  17. "They were the ones that did that Revolutionary War thing!?!?!?" Hysterical :)

    I make notes in my Ipod notes section, and half the time I have no flippin clue what I mean. It's so cryptic, like I was trying to keep it secret from spies, but it turns out, I'm only keeping it secret from myself.

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    1. No, don't rule out spies. They are everywhere. Pat and I have had a big spy problem at PCPPP, or so we assume.

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